David Yamane

Guns are “Exhilarating and Frightening” (Fall 2023 Student Range Visit Reflection #1)

This is the first of several student gun range field trip reflection essays from my fall 2023 Sociology of Guns seminar. The assignment to which students are responding can be found here. I am grateful to these students for their willingness to have their thoughts shared publicly.

Sociology of Guns student shooting during range field trip, Fall 2023. Photo by Sandra Stroud Yamane

By Eliza Cook

Growing up, I never thought about guns in a concrete way as neither of my parents owned, used, or discussed guns. My abstract and removed conceptions about guns and gun usage in America changed in fifth grade when the Sandy Hook shooting took place near my school, and the damage and devastation caused by guns became palpable in my own life.

The year after the Sandy Hook shooting occurred, I moved to Seattle to live with my grandparents, who are both staunchly against gun usage in the US. My grandmother cofounded and is on the board of Grandmothers Against Gun Violence, an organization comprised of grandmothers who share the mission of reforming gun control laws in Washington state (and eventually in the country as a whole) via protests, community events, and grassroots organizing. After getting involved with the organization and hearing the numerous personal stories of grandmothers that lost husbands and children and friends to gun violence, I too became staunchly against guns, even in recreational and hunting contexts.

During spring break of my freshman year of college, my brother took me to a gun range in Alabama, where I shot several rounds from a 9mm pistol. With weak arms and a fear of guns, I found the experience to be simultaneously exhilarating and frightening. My perception of America’s culture around guns centers around men, especially big burly men who are either valiant FBI agents and police officers or dangerous criminals or rural hunters, so feeling the “bang” of the pistol in my hands was strangely empowering as a woman. In the roughly two years between going to the gun range in Alabama and the gun range field trip last Wednesday, I have explored on both a personal and academic level what it means to be a strong and empowered woman in America: I started weightlifting six days a week and taking sociology courses focused on gender and power dynamics, which upon reflection significantly influenced my experience and perceptions during the field trip.

Specifically, going to the range in a group with three men subconsciously made me feel less weary about being in the presence of such large and deadly pieces of machinery – I found myself more interested in being a “good shot” than being scared of the gun in my hands. Shooting the two smaller handguns felt very similar to shooting the 9mm pistol in Alabama, which I believe alleviated some of my unease about shooting the guns due to their familiar nature.

While this exercise is aimed at getting me to reflect on my perceptions of and experiences with the guns themselves, I cannot help but also reflect on the subtle and subconscious gender dynamics that I encountered during the experience as well, as I think they are not mutually exclusive. After shooting the first handgun, I was met with more praise than the men in the group, which made me recall the sociology of sexuality course I took last semester, in which we discussed the gendered nature of certain activities, hobbies, and occupations. I felt incredibly empowered and strong after shooting the gun, which I imagine I felt to a greater degree than the men in my group who also shot the gun – perhaps a reflection of the historically gendered nature of guns in my mind.

While shooting the two smaller guns felt more familiar and therefore less scary – in tandem with my feelings of female empowerment – shooting the AR-15 was an entirely different experience. I was apprehensive about shooting the gun even before arriving at the range given the incredibly negative connotation the name has due to its frequent usage in violent and devastating mass shootings in recent years – not to mention its intimidating and ominous size and physical presence. Feeling my body on the gun, from my chest supporting the back of the gun to my cheek rested on the side to my hands on the trigger, made me feel like an appendage of the gun, which was a very striking feeling when I shot the gun. It was like some sort of strange epiphany – feeling one with the gun as it reverberated with sound and movement and launched a bullet across the range with stark precision. All I could think about when shooting the ten rounds was how jarring it is that the gun is used in so many mass shootings, because that means that the killers are physically feeling and experiencing the damage they are doing to another human body when the bullet leaves the AR-15.

Overall, I am very glad that I went to the gun range and clearly see the value of starting off the course by going on the field trip, as learning about and discussing gun culture and usage in America takes on an entirely different meaning when guns no longer exist in some removed vacuum.

19 comments

  2. One of my wife’s favorite sayings about guns is, “God made man and woman equal, and Smith and Wesson ensures that fact.” Sounds like your student is starting to appreciate that opinion. And I agree with Tim, I also enjoy hearing your students’ stories.

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  3. I really wish that this student had continued to develop those thoughts, There were some good thoughts in her essay, and I’d like to have heard more.

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  5. Try that again – i’m. impressed by how students like Eliza are willing to not only try shooting the firearms, but are able to describe their experiences so well.

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  6. Ms. Cook’s perspicacity is evident from her openminded approach to the field trip, her nuanced observations, and the connections she makes with her previous personal experiences and learning.

    ” I was met with more praise than the men in the group….”

    I recall as a beginner shooter that everyone was welcoming, encouraging, and gave effusive praise.

    My introduction to gun culture was also ‘gendered’ — my first two professional instructors were women, and my informal shooting club is at least half female depending on who shows up. In this and many aspects, GC 2.0 belies the common stereotypes. I expect Ms. Cook would also have valuable insights, including on the empowerment she mentions, on the rise of orgs like A Girl and A Gun or top trainers like Tatiana Whitlock.

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